tellmejohn

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[Written]

[...Okay so two days in he is by now aware that something is up. He recalls what the good doctor had told him at the New Feather Party and, frankly, he's very interested in the idea of changed memories. Being too pointed in either doubting or disproving would be bunk for a study though. So... right now he's gather testimonies, make a case study.

In Luceti, it seems common for people to ask blatant questions over a public network like this. so. He'll just write this thing. If people resist for whatever reason, oh well. If they go for it, that'll be interesting.

And as such:]

Would any of the people here be willing to tell me about their childhoods? I confess I am curious about how the personal experiences of beings might be different between different realities.

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Philosophical differences. I'll always respect them, and how they choose to live it just...wasn't a good fit.

[Vague. too vague to help his test. He considers asking her to clarify, but no. He merely checks if her eyes are still closed to looks more carefully at her thermal read to see if there was some emotional reaction there before saying, slowly]

Is that something I ought not to touch?

It is something I'd rather not discuss.

[Sorting through all the details to explain to someone not of the Order, not of her galaxy? It's complicated, messy, and uncomfortable. It's easier to not; those that are here and care enough to know already understand. Her eyes are closed, and she does seem mildly distressed at the thought of elaborating. It had not been as easy a choice as most would have thought.]

[Very well... something else]

What about your parents?

They took me in; my mother kept her hair long...she'd let me braid it. My father fished off our balcony. I...do not remember them well, as they were not around that often. We had nanny droids and the odd caretaker, they all cycled through often enough that I don't have any solid memories of them.

Edited 2012-04-10 03:40 (UTC)

Can you describe them to me in greater detail at all? If you cannot, perhaps you could describe... the droids. Or the caretakers. Anything which stands out in your mind about who raised you.

I will try.

[She frowns a little, searching her memory. There were flickers, here and there, of her parents. Snippets of song. Fragrances. Soft hands and soft laughter. Most of her childhood was centered around Aden and the droids that cared for them. The odd nanny that put them to bed.]

She sang, sometimes. My mother. The droids would whistle the tune whenever Aden and I missed her, which was often. They were silver, bipedal. The newest available, from what I remember. Human enough in appearance for a child, but not so much as to be mistaken for anything other than what they were. The caretakers were...stuffy. Strict. All were brunette, I think they might have been sisters. With irritating, nasally voices.

Very good... [He lightly inhales, and then even more quietly exhales. He begins to drum his fingers on the table now, in a little beat. He's mostly waiting to see if she'll be able to get more out. He would try to hum or sing but tbh he's not good for that biologically]

I think...it was. One of them that found me healing a bruise on Aden's arm. I didn't even know what I was doing at the time; just that he was hurt and I wished him to be better. They're the ones that sent me to be tested. It was the first time I'd seen all four at once; until then I'd thought them all the same, dull, irritating woman.

...

Aden was devastated. I didn't want to go.

[In the course of this explanation he takes a sip of his iced tea before leaning over the table a bit towards her. So his voice is closer at this next part-]

Go on.

[About how you didn't want to go. About how you did go]

[His voice is closer, her voice goes quiet. There are many memories she doesn't care for, painful, lingering things. This was the first.]

I was tested for Sensitivity. And found to be talented enough to warrant training. I didn't understand at the time. I was frightened. Men I didn't know, asking me to tell them what I feel. To heal a bruise like I had Aden's. Putting me in a room with someone in pain to see how I would react- Empathy. On the level I have, is rare. The ability to heal rarer still. I had no choice. Neither did my parents. It's an honor to be chosen; and so they took me.

[He can see the discomfort in the movement of heat in her body ~~it's canon idek~~ he can feel how little he cares. Still, his voice is a touch sympathetic as he says]

And that honor saw you to the Order?

Another planet, another life entirely. One devoid of all attachment. Of all emotion- feel, but do not be ruled by them. Live to learn to use your talents for the betterment of The Republic, to protect those that cannot protect themselves. It...wasn't terrible. But it wasn't home. And after ten years training with the Order? Nowhere was home again. It's something of a nomadic organization.

I trained. Studied. Learned. Until I was twenty three. Just before the trials, tests Jedi take to prove they are worthy of knighthood. I would have passed.

...I simply didn't care to.

And, as we agreed, I shall not ask you why you did not. However, if we could continue the story to your time after you left, that would be... appreciated.

Thank you.

[She takes a moment to sort out her thoughts before she speaks again.] I went to Aden, first. I...could not think of anywhere else to go, once I'd left. I wasn't certain that he would remember me. He did. He had a son, Maten, and a wife. A life. And they welcomed me with open arms. I tried to live there, with them, for awhile. A few months but...nowhere was home. Nowhere was comfortable.

Hold. [He's still leaned over the table. Despite his interjection it's not really meant to chastise her, just... return to the purpose of his experiment] Tell me more about his wife.

Amelia?

[She frowns a moment, doubling back over the memory.] She was ill with something I couldn't cure, I didn't care to remain around her for very long because of it. Being too close made me uncomfortable. But. She was...petite. dark hair. Grey eyes. Very pale and drawn because of the illness. Something in her blood, I think, though I never asked and she never told. She always seemed terribly fragile, was very withdrawn unless Aden or Maten were in the room with her. Never alone either, if Aden or his son wasn't there, she had a droid that kept her medicated. Sedated for the pain. And she was in so much pain.

How did this effect the boy? The son.

Maten was young, yet. Only five. His mother's inability to be as active with him as I was, as his father was, made him distant from her. He didn't ask if she was doing well if she seemed ill. He gradually became ambivalent. It caused her some distress, but no amount of talking to him would make him change his mind. He told me once that he didn't think she was his mother.

[Ah. Still watching her emotional reactions to that]

A stressful family situation.

It is part of the reason I couldn't remain. Though. It might have helped Aden and Maten more for me to be there...I just. Couldn't bear to sit and feel that woman die.

Where then did you go next?

The Tapani sector. I needed a distraction, nobles in the area dueled for credits and renown.

[...Sipping his iced tea. A bit loudly, but mostly to prompt her to go on or to derail if she wants]

Not the most noble of pursuits but...it was interesting. Distracting. Until, inevitably, it wasn't. You cannot outrun pain. Where there is life, there is pain, and I could only run so far before the quiet in my head drove me back to civilization.

...

For two years I remained far from the Order. And then I got word of. The death of a mentor. A man I respected. So I returned.

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